(via gigiliang)
Dominican Republic ; Luperon.
Growing up as a kid , i never liked my childhood. Always wanted more than what i have because i never had enough. What did i have? A lake by my house Grandpa & i would always go to for early fishing & sunrises. And of course , picnics every once a week. A garden me and grandma created. Swings my uncle built for Ian and i. And Loopy for me to spend time with. What else do i need? Honestly , that year , age 4 was the happiest year ever. Until my grandma passed away. Our garden died within days , the soil dried up , the plants died and dont forget about the sunflowers … They used to say hello to the sun. Because of my grandma’s death , i remember i lost about 10 pounds due to the fact that dinner was no so yummy and forgotten picnics. Then one day , i needed to be dress up in this puffy white dress with a white flower on my pony tail. My grandpa’s wedding. Not only did this crash my heart , this also lead me to a new life … Welcome to misery Gina.
I was forced to call this other woman my grandma. I was not allow to eat from the same table and most of all , i was only allow to eat whatevers on my plate ; and what is that? All vegatables. In the morning , i was not allow to eat the same breakfast as everyone else , i was forced to eat left over dinner. After breakfast , i need to do chores before doing anything else. All my other cousins were having fun watching tv , playing dress up. “Grandma” would take her anger on me whenever something doesnt go her way. “Grandma” would act friendly when there are other people around. “Grandma” took everything away from me. Clothes , toys , rights , grandpa and most of all ; happiness. It was late spring and everyone was at the living room playing games , UNO , mahjong , cards , poker. “Grandma” said i was allow to join , i sensed joy. In my head , i was thinking ; maybe she likes me now … “Gina , go to the closet and get the board game to play with your cousins” She said with a smile i’ve never seen before. The closet was a walk in closet , almost the size of a very small bathroom. I found the boardgame then i heard the lock. I was locked in the closet. I dropped on my knees panicking , not knowing what to do. I brust into tears with fear. Will anyone notice me … ? Minutes and minutes passed , not a single sound in the room. It was quiet enough for me to hear whats happening outside. Then i finally heard footsteps. But i was scared … scared to make a sound. The lock was unlocked , the door was opening up , i finally saw light. And the second thing i saw was my cousin , Ian. Ian ran to me with his arms spread wild open and told me to not cry. Said its okay , he is here. After that night … the closet was my favorite place and Ian was my favorite person in this wicked house.
“Grandma” was 50% of a boss in this bakery. She makes wonderful deelicious cakes. The sweetness hid her evilness , those cakes was my favorite thing from her. But my favoriest favorite had to be cheesecake. Mid summer , “Grandma” told me to help her prepare for the picnic. YES , picnic. I dont think anyone else was more excited than i am. “Grandma” told me i was in charge of watching the cheesecake and loopy. Course i was happy. It was early in the morning and “Grandma” told me to eat one of the cheesecakes since she made too many. Then she went to prepare for the sunscreens , bathing suits , and towels which was on the third floor. I was on the first floor with Loopy. Her voice was on replay in my head. “Gina , just eat ONE of the cheesecakes , we got plenty” And of course , i did. I was a bite away of finishing the whole cheesecake , then she came charging in with a wooden stick from the garden. It happened too fast , Loopy was scared , but not as scared as i was. She hit me everywhere , i was sliding around finding a place to hide. My leg was numb , my arm was weak ; i could no longer move. Then no more hitting for five seconds , then came a kick in my stomach and jaw. My faced hit the counter , my cheeks got scratched from falling down on the tip of the counter. “Dont play dead with me!” Blood was rolling down my cheeks as if they were tears. I dont ever think i’ve seen blood this close and i dont think i’ve ever felt so much pain. Everyone came rushing in , “Grandma” played it well. “Gina , are you okay!? I told you to becareful” Everyone asked what happened knowing nothing , she explained to everyone as if she was innocent , as if she was the one to save me. Ian picked me up , carried me to his sister room and put bandaids on my cuts. Never ishall i forget about that morning , never shall i forget about how my happiness turned into cuts and bruises which turned my life cold. Never shall i forget how one wooden stick and one cheesecake can murder my soul.
Age 7 , august. It was my last week here , in this misery house. I was in the closet again , thinking about how much i’ve lost. I lost my grandma , i lost Loopy. I’ve only gained fears and scars. I cried myself to sleep in this closet. I woke up and realized today is the day where i have to leave Luperon. Ian gave me a hug and a cupcake bracelet. “Cupcakes are so much better than Cheesecakes Gina , bye , i will miss you”
Age 11. I got a phonecall from Ian telling me he is coming to new york and he left something for “Grandma” A box of bandaids for my cuts he kept all along with a note on top saying ” I AM STILL ALIVE - GINA “
sometimes , instead of sitting here doing whatever i am doing ; i rather sit back at where i was … talking to someone i love who doesnt love me back.
These few nights … i been having really weird dreams. I been dreaming of you and i. I am getting flashbacks of those bad times we had. The dreams i had just felt so real. So real … i can even feel the pain in my chest. And each morning , i would wake up with this funny feeling inside of me. I told myself i must forget about you , guess whos running through my mind now? I just cant forget about our love. I am happy enough to actually have a chance to go back to OUR days. The bads times are good enough … i’ve realized … i rather spend bad times with you than good times with anyone else.
